Is this my purpose or God’s?

Updated: May 31, 2019



Its been a while since I actually wrote on this particular blog, it’s due to me just wanting to be done with it. I love to write and educate people. Sometimes I wonder if I’m walking in Purpose. I wonder God is this you? I want to be very transparent, about my feelings in regards to this.

I follow a lot of advocates, entrepreneurs and amazing women who have the drive that I don’t have. The seem consistent, rich and sanctified. When you see this, most of the time it’s motivating and makes you go hard. Sometimes it doesn’t. It can really make you wonder why are you so different. I can’t do lives 5 days a week or launch products and services all the time. They seem to be making it in life and helping other people do the same. They are living their best lives. When this happens it’s slows me down because now their success reminds me of the inconsistency and horrible mindset I possess. My heart is in this, but does that mean it’s a good idea for a business. Did God really want me to do this? Is my testimony really my purpose?


These negative thoughts, I realized has nothing to do with the people but more to do with me. I feel some type of way about my own work. I’m super critical because I feel like I haven’t taken off. I feel like this magic snap will happen and boom I’m a national best selling Author, top Christian Entrepreneur Coach, Minister and a highly recommended Speaker. The reality of this is it doesn't happen that way. Faith without works is dead.


James 2:17–Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.


The Reality is I don't know what’s going on in the life of those amazing women, I don’t know their struggle or their story. I don’t really know these people. Every person had a beginning. Honestly I don’t know theirs. Also, they aren’t me and don’t have the purpose I have. I am the template so the route God has me taking is different. We all have our personal journeys and it’s not fair to make assumptions about someone when you really don’t know. Although my feelings are valid, because they are mine it’s my responsibility to handle them. If I don’t like something I have to change that. I can’t throw a pity part. Everyday I have to put myself in position to win.


I am already an International Best Selling Author, A Phenomenal Speaker and Christian Business Coach. I also invest in Real Estate and own a Mental Health Organization. I give back to my community and I am active in my place of worship. God is going to bring me a long way from this place. I know that, I have to continue to press on it’s only up from here.


If you would like to get closer to God to talk about your purpose download these writing prompts: bit.ly/writingtogod






  • YouTube
  • Twitter
  • Facebook Social Icon
  • Instagram Social Icon
  • Pinterest Social Icon

© 2018  Author of Life After HIV. Designed by iDesign Genius,